This is not a blog post on how to install wall tile. If you’ve read my blog at all you will know that I’m not qualified to teach anything.
1.) I’m impatient.
2.) I don’t read directions. (usually)
3.) I tend to do thing backasswards.
4.) I’m pretty darn klutzy.
5.) I’m ridiculously messy while doing a project.
6.) I always forget to take “during” pictures. (refer to #1)
The message of my blog is, even if you think you’re a DIY dork, DO IT ANYWAY!
It seems to be catching on according to my email, blog comments and the two people I actually know in real life that read my blog. They tell me that I’ve inspired them to try their hand at new things. So, there’s that.
I do start out with good intentions, however.
I made my lines with the level according to Magic Dave’s over-the-phone directions. I completely ignored them and started in a different place to the left of the sink. But I had good intentions!
Mr. Wonderful whipped up a batch of thinset sans directions. We put three sheets of tile on the wall and they immediately began making a big, slow slide downward.
Mr. Wonderful being the DIY King that he is, exclaimed “What do we do? Call a professional!”
To which I replied calmly, “No, damn it! We’re gonna figure this out!”
And then I called my neighbor, Stacy, who was putting up the exact same tile in her bathroom at the exact same time. She did, however, have a semi-professional helper and they ran over to see if they could assist.
To our credit, in the time it took Stacy and her handy helper to walk down two houses, Mr. Wonderful and I had already figured out that our thinset was too watery. So, we pulled it, washed it , wiped down the wall and started over.
I’m laughing at just how inept I am at thinset application.
Somewhere around here…and by here I mean between the arrows….there may have been some swearing and choice words spoken that shouldn’t have been. All because I’m a bit of a control freak and things weren’t going according to MY plan. (like I had one!)
Hmmm…I just had a thought. Perhaps this is why Mr. Wonderful doesn’t like DIY? Something to ponder…
Just for the record, right around the tail end of the second arrow, Mr. Wonderful turned to me and said “I love you.”
To which I sweetly replied, “Shut up.”
We started hitting our stride and working cooperatively about here. Again, by here, I mean where the arrow is. This is also the spot where I realized I had mistakenly got a box of bisque-colored tile instead of all white.
It just wouldn’t be a project of mine if I didn’t find a way to mess it up or delay it. That was the reason for our trip on Sunday into the “big city”. We needed more tile.
I also decided to switch from Delorean Gray grout to white. You may have noticed some imperfections in the setting of this tile. You’d be right and really, not all that observant ‘cuz quite frankly, they’re obvious. But here’s the thing. The sheets of tile were not spaced well at all. Sometimes when we added a spacer or a nickel, as it were, it would send the whole sheet out of whack and make it look just plain crooked instead of just not spaced correctly. We did the best we could being novice tile installers. This is one of the reason why I decided to switch from gray to white grout. First of all, the inconsistencies wouldn’t be as noticeable and I also felt that all of those grout lines would look too “busy” in the gray. I don’t like busy.
So, this is where we stand on the kitchen tile. (The mess has been cleaned up and replaced with dirty dishes.) One wall is nearly finished. One wall has yet to be started. I’m not looking forward to doing the second wall by the stove. Halfway through doing this wall, my back was on fire and shooting lighting bolts through my buttocks and down my leg. During the clean up, I was standing at the kitchen sink when Mr. Wonderful asked me to scoot over because he needed to use the sink. I had to inform him that even though it didn’t look like it, I was, in fact trying to move. It just wasn’t happening. Ruptured spinal discs and DIY are not for weenies!
In spite of the back pain, the mistakes and the unnecessary swearing, we will be doing the second wall ourselves.
Many of you wouldn’t be able to stand the wonky tiles and I get that.
But here’s the thing….I’m not going for perfection in my home.
I’m going for pretty.
“Pretty good, not bad, can’t complain,” to quote a John Prine song.
Bye from the bungalow,
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